Men Must Cry. Especially on National TV.

“Big man doh cry boy!”

“How yuh go cry on National TV?”

“The town crier!”

“He ah pussy, why he crying for da?”

“Leaders hadda be strong, how he go be crying?”

In a hyper-masculine society, we can see how an archaic idea of what a manly leader is, continues to dominate the forefront of popular perception. This toxicity is the equivalent to eating ah bad curry from last week. At first it looks attractive but the repercussions are purely messy.

In this modern society, bottling up emotions and not learning how to express them in a healthy and safe manner, ultimately results in a build up of stress, frustration and dissatisfaction that will explode, like the man on the toilet seat who ate that bad curry.

Three days ago, I cried on national television during a peaceful demonstration, at the UWI St.Augustine, done by students for security and safety following, an attempted rape earlier in the week and a string of robberies in and around campus. My tears also came, after the brutal detainment by TTPS, of two student leaders who were involved in the protest action. The two individuals; Nathanael and Brian, I now call the heroes of the demonstration.

The comments at the top of this article; were the views of some (who were in the minority.) Most people offered their support and well wishes, which I greatly appreciated. Much thanks and blessings from the God above! 

It will be remiss of me however, as a leader, not to address toxic masculinity and the mental impact this can have on an individual who is trying to live up to the expectation of the outdated toxic social construct of manliness. The one that requires you to roar like a dinosaur when someone challenges you.

N.B. Dinosaurs are dead.

Side note: “Big up Justin Subero, a man who went against the expectation and the gender norm that only women should be the Guild Secretary.”

What is new age manliness? What is a strong leader?

In the past, an expressive man, would’ve been viewed as weak, especially in a public space. It was rare, like finding a golden manicou at the end of a rainbow, but now a man who cries is just as strong and as rich as gold, for emotion is strength and we need to change the ancient rhetoric that an emotional man is a weak one.

An emotional man = A strong man.

Living up to this rigid expectation that we must not show our vulnerabilities as men or as male leaders, is a mindset that will leave us living in the “Wild Wild West” era, where we ‘shoot’ when we feel angry or flustered because we neither know how to define nor express sadness or frustration properly.

Raising our men to be rigid and emotionless whether they are in leadership positions or not, will make our system collapse. Men must be able to relate with the people who surround them, and with those who they are charged with representing. Being emotional only becomes a setback when you dwell in the negative. Not finding an appropriate measure to deal with stress/frustration or the refusal of help, in times of turmoil, can lead to mixed emotions manifesting into an aggressive monster; that results in physical repercussions and the need to lashout. ‘That shit ain’t manly bruh’

 There are some men who have been conditioned to believe that crying is weak and that hyper-masculinity is normative behavior. If you are one such man, you need to move with the times and do some self-reflection. We are living in an age, where strong men and manliness means combatting the toxic male gender norm; which states that you must be aggressive in the face of adversity thus justifying a compulsive need to over power all those around you. “This ain’t all 4s, we doh have to play the Trump card all d time.”

This is 2018 and a new definition of manliness is on the rise, which many have already subscribed to.

We are all human,as such,we need human leaders. That means we need more men who are willing to express how they feel in a healthy manner. There is nothing wrong with crying. There is nothing wrong with saying that you are hurt, that you feel sad or even admitting that you are wrong or flustered.

There is nothing compared to the mental relief you will feel, besides two doubles with slight pepper, when you begin admitting to yourself, that it is cool to express emotions as a man.

It is cool to cry.

This does not detract from your manliness.

So the next time you are in the gym, lifting those heavy weights in a manly way to, relieve your stress, feel free tuh buss ah two tears one time.

In addition to asking “do you even lift bro?” feel free to also ask, “do you even cry bro?”

Embrace the new age manliness!

 

Darrion Narine

IG: @darrion_d_actor  @darrionguildpresident

Twitter : @Theatrics868